so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
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