That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
