Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
