i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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