Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
