yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
