woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
