Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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