This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I wish you could order shots online.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
