He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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