He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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