So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
