he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
