You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
