She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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