He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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