hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
