I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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