I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
