Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
