I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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