Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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