My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
