It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We had sex on a dog bed..
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
