Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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