He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
