just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
