How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
