Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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