is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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