Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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