I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
