So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize