So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
