Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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