I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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