like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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