Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
