im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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