I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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