Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he just fucked me for my cheese.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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