I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
