Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
