I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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