Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
