Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
