K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
