Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
