my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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