I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
