We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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