Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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