About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
