So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
