I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize