Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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