The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
