Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize