it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I have aggressive nipples.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
