Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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