You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
