I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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