How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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