Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
